Love and Marriage

Lately on Facebook there have been various blog posts about being married.  They're usually written by couples who have been married less than 5 years.  AMATEURS! At the 5 year mark you're just getting started. Wives still think they can get him to put the toilet seat down and husbands still believe that leaving the seat up makes it easier to clean.  Eventually we all know that they will come to an "understanding."

I've been married to Mister for over 32 years.  I met him when I was 18, told him I loved him on my 19th birthday and by 20 we were living as man and wife in a cozy little starter apartment close to ASU.  I thought it was cute and Mister spent the month before our wedding painting the entire place and making our first piece of furniture.  It was a coffee table with a big piece of smoked glass on top.  I'd never owned my own furniture before so I thought it was wonderful.  I just knew we were going to have the most enchanted life together.

This was our first real date and to this day it's still Mister's favorite picture of us.  I think he likes big hair too!

Getting married is the easy part...staying married is harder but staying "IN" Love for 32 years?  That folks is a freaking miracle.  I can honestly say that after 32 years I am still "IN" love with Mister and most days I think he's in love with me.  Actually, we've been successful because for many years Mister loved me more.  He is always first to apologize, never held a grudge and is one of the most genuinely kind people I know.  Growing old together is something I look forward to. 

I look forward to spending our date night in Walmart trying on cheater/readers.....Can you see me now?

I look forward to keeping each other groomed so we're fit to be seen in public......Can you hear better now? Geez....hair grows there??

I look forward to many more years of snuggling underneath warm covers on a cold night.....Quick turn the fan on I'm melting in here. Menopause...you're own personal summer that rages on forever!

We are nearly nesters.  That means we live with young adults who sleep here, occasionally eat here and at some point do their laundry.  The upside is that as a couple we now have the time to do some of the things that got pushed to the side as we were frantically raising a family.  The down side is that we now have to come up with our own agenda instead of using our children's activities for outings.  It looks something like this...."What do you want to do?"  "I dunno.....what do you want to do?" "Do we have a coupon?"  "I think so....not sure where tho.."  It's riveting conversation I'll tell ya.  We are party animals to the core!

That's not say that we don't have our disagreements and/or arguments.  Like the time we were driving and I was picking a fight and being right.....it's hard work being right, ALL. THE. TIME.  It went something like this...Me: "I swear...where would you be without me?!?"  At that exact moment the rumble of a Harley Davidson could be heard outside the window of the car. The free spirited and obviously single rider was helmet-less and his super awesome mullet was blowing in the wind.  Mister looked across and said...."I'd be THAT guy!! Except my mullet would be longer!"  Of course he would.  

I vividly remember our 25th wedding anniversary.  It was such a milestone and I was frustrated and annoyed.  I truly thought we'd be farther along in our life.  Financially, career wise, financially, our home would be spacious and grand, financially....I said that already right?  What had we been doing for the last 25 years??  Besides raising amazing children, fixing broken down cars and spending our weekends repairing all the things our kids broke in the house during the week?  The closer we got to the date the more annoyed I became.  I wanted a magic wand I could wave that would make everything perfect.  So one night as we were going to sleep and I was raging internally about all of life's unfairness,  Mister snuggled up behind me, pulled me close and said...."Thank you for staying married to me.  I know there were times you wanted to leave me, but you couldn't......... there was no gas in the car."  

Ladies and gentlemen, you now know our secret and why I never left. Mister makes me laugh!!  Humor truly melts away all the anxiety and stress.  AND...he's a great kisser, among other things.  He's my safe place and my soft landing.  He's that voice of reason in my head that reminds me not to loose my cool and go all crazy, psycho Beeotch on some poor unsuspecting friend, stranger or family member.  You can all thank him later. 

If I had any advice to married couples young and old it would be:

LIVE Consciously. Appreciate the good times and the bad times.  Believe me, you'll have plenty of both.

LOVE Unconditionally.  You chose him/her. Sometimes your loved one will need you to love them more. 

LAUGH. A Lot. Mostly at yourself.

I'm working on a project that I hope will help married couples stay married.  It's been rolling around in my head and heart for a while now. I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, it's Thanksgiving so eat yourself into a food coma and then muster up the energy and patience to shop, shop, shop.  I'm hoping to find a rockin' smokin hot new pair of red shoes.